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need rewrite on masters level extremely short paper

Someone wrote the paper and the prof said its not masters level material and ripped it apart.  If you are not able to perform to standards listed below, plesae dont respond!!!  I need the directions listed by the prof to be followed.  I am providing what I already have as a draft only. Please add to it and enhance it to make it masters material.




You are off to a very good start.  While you may not have been able to view the tools that were posted, I wanted to reiterate them here.


***One note in terms of clear language, please use very specific and precise language. For example, use of the word “discernment” when the word should be “revealed” or something similar should be clarified. 


Please keep in mind that paragraphs should be at least five to eight sentences.  Since this is a shorter paper, please be sure that you do not separate paragraphs if they are not truly paragraphs. The above listed website clarifies structure of paragraphs which you may find to be helpful as you are completing the scholarly papers for Master’s Level courses.


As far as content, if you are introducing a topic such as an unhealthy family system.  Please use precise language and make sure that what you are presenting is not based on opinion or personal experience, but on scholarly research.  This does not mean copy and paste article information.  This means that you will need to read information, synthesize (analyze) and present the information via paraphrasing or summarizing with proper in text citations and corresponding reference lists.  All citations in the body of work and in the reference list must be according to APA standards.  You can always review the APA manual, or the OWL at Purdue which you can find here:https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/01/


It looks like the “research” that has been shared for far too many instances simply are things that have been taken out of the course materials and “cited”.  This is not research.  Research is similar to reading a book and then describing or paraphrasing it to an audience so that they can get the main points, ideas, etc.  As you recount what has been read, direct quotes are rarely used and the citation is to give credit to the person that you are drawing information from.  Information must be accurate and not manipulated to prove your point.  Remember that the basis is for you to grow and to grow those that are reading your presentation.  You can only grow if you read in depth the vital current research on the topics and the course materials.  Simple skimming will not give you the core information to be able to show that you grasp and can use what you are learning in the practice of human services.  To show that you really “get it”, you must be able to synthesize, analyze and present based on what you are reading and apply the information in a relevant manner to take the conversation to a higher level.  At the Master’s Level, students are showing mastery over subject matters related to their field of study.  This means that they are able to apply the information that they have learned and share it with others in a way that helps the audience to improve understanding, grasp and outcome as solutions are found to impact the lives of those that human services professionals serve. One thing that is strongly encouraged is that there is full review of the grading rubric.  Please see the grading rubric to ensure that your presentation covers everything that will be assessed.  Here are some additional bullets for paper adjustment.



  • Clarify the introduction and the conclusion
  • Use the OWL at Purdue as guidance https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/owlprint/724/
  • Be sure to use appropriate references in the reference list and with the in text citations so that the reader can go back to review the complete reference if needed to clarify context and content
  • Use precise language and explore the topic clearly before moving on so that it is not a series of ideas that are not connected
  • Be sure to cover all areas of the paper as requested in the assignment instructions and the grading rubric.
  • If you introduce information, please clarify it such as presenting parenting styles. If you are citing something there must be information to cite.
  • References need to be corrected to follow APA formatting
  • APA assignments are to reflect research, not personal opinion
  • Large amounts of direct quotes should not be used and when incorporating scripture, the scripture should be thoroughly discussed and connected to the presentation, not just copied into the presentation
  • Please be sure to appropriately use et al based on APA standards
  • See sample as provided by instructor for clarification on style and development of content, but not to mirror the content as the post needs to be based on research completed by the student.
  • Word count should not be based on direct quotes, and the entire assignment needs to be clearly explored based on the grading rubric and instructions
  • Please start with the course content areas to include the instructions for the assignment and the grading rubric which you will be held accountable for.
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